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Secret to My Sex-cess, Guys? Grab a Mop!

“Guys Who Do Housework Get Less Sex.”

There it was in blue and white type for everyone to see. Slate.com was proclaiming that men who help out around the house get less sex from their spouses.

I can see it already, men across the country will be using this as their get-out-of-housework-free card, while their wives will be finding all sorts of menial tasks to keep their hubby’s hands and minds occupied, keeping their libidos at bay.

And so, the battle of the sexes rages on.

Slate.com cites new research from the American Sociological Review that says men in couples who participate in “female” chores have less sex than men who do more stereotypical “male” chores, who see more action between the sheets.

But wait, doesn’t this run counter to a 2009 CBS News report that said, “Men: Want More Sex? Do the Laundry,” in which the authors cite two reports that men who do household chores are getting lucky at home more often than their lazy counterparts? Have I been up to my arms in scrubbing bubbles for no good reason?

The authors of the report even suggest checking out a book titled “Porn for Women,” which, by the way, is now available for your Kindle.

So what’s a guy to do? I say do the housework, especially if you are unemployed or semi-employed. No, you won’t lose your man card if you run the dishwasher, do the laundry and vacuum the carpet. You’ve got time on your hands, so pitch in and help.

Guys, get over yourselves. In the past three or so years, we’ve seen a lot of role reversal going on with women becoming the primary breadwinners in families as more and more men get laid off from their jobs. How many generations have we accepted the “Father Knows Best” image of dad going out and slaying dragons while mom stayed home and made sure the house was spotless, the kids were well-scrubbed and the pantry was stocked with groceries?

Guys, it’s time to step up. You might be unemployed, semi-employed or under-employed in the traditional sense, but you can still help out around the house. And believe it or not, sex doesn’t have to be the carrot on the end of the cord that gets you up off the couch and helping out.

Remember all those days you slogged home from work so tired you could hardly see straight? Now think about your poor wife, who feels the same way only to come home to a messy house and a horny hubby. Yeah, that’s a recipe for hot sex on the dining room table – not.

Doing housework can make you feel like your contributing to the family’s success, while helping you maintain a sense of self-worth as you look for the next big break in your career. Even if you don’t see yourself as a stay-at-home dad over the long haul, this will at least contribute to the overall well-being of the family and reduce some of the stress and anxiety related to labor layoffs.

Bottom line guys, research or no research, the math here is really easy, so have your pencils ready. Take one stressed-out wife, add a demanding job, screaming kids and a house in constant need of cleaning, and the results are probably not going to be a charming bedtime story for you or your spouse.

Basically, take sex out of the equation.

But here’s the deal, if you can knock out the housework, grocery shopping, laundry and the screaming kids, the results can be a reduction of stress and more time to make room for daddy. I’m just saying, this is simple math, not calculus boys. Pull your weight and take your chances. You’ll feel better about yourself while earning some brownie points with the boss.

Enough with the Dr. Phil moment. Guys, you want more sex? Clean the house (and a bottle of wine couldn’t hurt). It’s that simple.

Greg’s passion is blogging, so if you’d like to read more by this Kansas resident about job-seeking, social media and digital technology, you can find a collection of his posts at Xogdog’s Blog

photo credit: kallidobbin via photopin cc

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About G Peters

Life during the last five years has read a lot like a country song for Greg. Got laid off ­– got hired. Went to work, and then the new job expired. Went back on the street looking for work, but who’s going to hire somebody older than dirt? Worked the graveyard shift for a year or two, hoping against hope to find something new ­– and at long last did, working in communications for a university. Dream job is still blogger-in-residence for YourCompany.Com, but thankful every day to have a workplace to call home. Best advice: never stop believing in yourself. Check out Xogdog's blog at www.xogdog.wordpress.com/.